About my ailments

About my ailments...

I have Fibromyalgia, Severe Fatigue, Asthma, Arthritis, & Degenerative Disc Disease, and PTSD, Severe Anxiety & Depression. That's not all, but it will do for this post.

Pain and anxiety are the same to the brain cells. I am in a lot of pain and stress. Always. 

This week has  been especially tough for several reasons.

I can't afford $700 a month for meds when I don't have $7 to my name.

Even if I was able to work (which I'm not) I wouldn't even come close to making that kind of money. 

My doctors in Kansas had just got my meds worked out so that I was able to do small daily things without needing a nap and I lost government grants for school...

which meant I lost school, my home and everything. So I end up having to move and start over trying to get help with my medicines again. I don't have help yet. 

So I don't have pain meds. So I'm being slammed with pain that previously had gradually gotten so bad I was bedridden, well here it is in a wall of force hitting me now.  

Now that I've tasted a bit of relief, the pain is all back full force.

And it's going to rain. I can feel it. It doesn't feel good. 

I hurt all over like the flu. My hands feel stiff and thick. They don't work well. They cramp. 

I can't see clearly when I first wake up. 

My legs and feet feel asleep if they get still. My legs jerk and cramp. I can't depend on them to hold me up. 

My feet and hands burn like they were scalded. 

Then there's stress, anxiety, and depression....

My cousin died. We were close. 

And there's no easy way to say this, but my some of my family just plain out acts white trash crazy. Even in public! 

So I think I have had every ailment I have triggered this week. 

Boo helping me with a panic attack

This is the best I can do. =/

https://www.facebook.com/amanda.cantrell/posts/10152345833966101:5

My service dog's job

FYI

 Wherever I go, BooRadley will be there.

That means stores, restaurants, churches, homes and yes, the funeral home.

 He is my Service Dog.

 He is not there to be your entertainment, to be talked to, touched or petted. He is there to work.

 You don't need to know his job or understand it.

 Just because I may allow you to talk to and pet him does not mean that is what he's there for. (And God bless the people who ask first because otherwise it's as jarring and invasive at times as grabbing a person's blind cane or person's prosthetic!)

He loves people and I understand people are drawn to him, but he is as much a service dog as a seeing eye dog.

 Respect that.

 Now that I've said that, I want you to know that while he is trained to do a job, he is human (so to so to speak) and he may need you to back off and don't distract him.

 Let him work when I am at the funeral home.

 If I sound harsh, well, I'm trying to deal with the loss of my cousin. As an only child, my cousins mean a lot to me. I don't know what having a brother or sister feels like except maybe how I feel about my cousins.

 Boo has an enormous job ahead of him the next few days. This may be his biggest job challenge yet.

If he makes a mistake, don't say he is not doing his job at all. Or that he isn't a service dog. Maybe feel sympathy for him and add him to your prayers.

 Thank you.

Doctors can see fatigue!

My fibro doesn't just come with pain, but it also hits me with fatigue. Overwhelming, crashing, punishing, slamming.... (You get the idea) fatigue. Now there is proof it's not all emotional(depression) but an actual physical ailment. So there, to everyone who has called me lazy. So. There! http://www.fmnetnews.com/free-articles/enews-alert-samples/brain-imaging-fatigue

winter blues

Doing good even thru the artic freeze we all felt. Apparently all 50 states had freezing temps one day. The cold makes me ache and hurt. I have to move real slow. I want to sleep a lot. but thats normal. I hope everyone stays safe and warm!

Missing meds is a PAIN!

I accidentally missed my fibro meds one afternoon and didn't take my meds that night. Big mistake! I woke up hurting around 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep. It felt every joint was becoming bedsores. Like my joints were gonna come thru my skin. I got up and took my fibro meds. I hope I never miss my meds again! But I dread the day they don’t work. It seems all meds I take eventually quit working, or my body adjusts to them.

I’m in the middle of moving and having boxes everywhere is killing me. Too much stimuli and stress! Also this move is bittersweet so that’s stressful too. Did I mention stress and stimuli cause pain? =P And moving things around is also painful. And I dread the 2 to 3 days drive I have to do as my move. *sigh*

I found an article about Fibro symptoms you may want to read.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2054759/Fibromyalgia-The-debilitating-condition-leaves-sensitive-sufferers-excruciating-pain.html

Boo is a super service dog!

I spent hours today working on final project for PhotoJ3 class. It was several separate pages. When I put them all in a folder & tried to open it my computer crashes. I’m thinking “no way, that didn’t just happen.” So I try again and my computer crashes again. I try opening the folder a different way. Crash. All that work trapped. >:[

I try to run a malware program but it won’t go in the folder. I had no idea what to do so I right click on the folder and read the options… again… in desperation.

Finally tried search in the folder, not open.  Search finds them so I moved them from search to desk top. Okay, so I won I beat the crash-inducing-folder. I create a new folder to put my work in and try to open it and it crashed the computer again. >:[

Finally I decided “no more folders” and just saved my work individually on my memory card. I will live with it not being organized. I can open the work.

*whew* 

Oh & the best part: when the computer was crashing Boo came over & needed to be held. He calmed me down before I knew I was panicking. He’s a great service dog!