I have always prayed “Dear God I do not want the patience of
Job! No thank You!” Meaning I did not want to go thru what Job went thru, especially when he lost his children!
But I seem to have
become Adam who said, “Lord, that Fibro (Adam said woman) that You gave me
has caused all this trouble. The trouble is directly linked to You, God.
(NASB version: The man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she
gave me from the tree, and I ate.").
Basically Your timing, God, in my life cause me caused all
this trouble.
I know the Bible says God is perfect and that His will is
perfect, but you can’t ever convince met that giving me Fibromyalgia before I
had children and before it was even names as a thing that people had for real
was in any shape for or fashion good for me or the children. The children that
always belong to God and I was basically just babysitting for Him. And He knew
all along that I was sick, what was wrong and how to heal me, for their sakes
and He didn’t.
How do I reconcile that with God is a good God and God is
Love?! And all the other wonderful things God is?
I just don’t know.
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