About my ailments

About my ailments...

I have Fibromyalgia, Severe Fatigue, Asthma, Arthritis, & Degenerative Disc Disease, and PTSD, Severe Anxiety & Depression. That's not all, but it will do for this post.

Pain and anxiety are the same to the brain cells. I am in a lot of pain and stress. Always. 

This week has  been especially tough for several reasons.

I can't afford $700 a month for meds when I don't have $7 to my name.

Even if I was able to work (which I'm not) I wouldn't even come close to making that kind of money. 

My doctors in Kansas had just got my meds worked out so that I was able to do small daily things without needing a nap and I lost government grants for school...

which meant I lost school, my home and everything. So I end up having to move and start over trying to get help with my medicines again. I don't have help yet. 

So I don't have pain meds. So I'm being slammed with pain that previously had gradually gotten so bad I was bedridden, well here it is in a wall of force hitting me now.  

Now that I've tasted a bit of relief, the pain is all back full force.

And it's going to rain. I can feel it. It doesn't feel good. 

I hurt all over like the flu. My hands feel stiff and thick. They don't work well. They cramp. 

I can't see clearly when I first wake up. 

My legs and feet feel asleep if they get still. My legs jerk and cramp. I can't depend on them to hold me up. 

My feet and hands burn like they were scalded. 

Then there's stress, anxiety, and depression....

My cousin died. We were close. 

And there's no easy way to say this, but my some of my family just plain out acts white trash crazy. Even in public! 

So I think I have had every ailment I have triggered this week. 

Boo helping me with a panic attack

This is the best I can do. =/

https://www.facebook.com/amanda.cantrell/posts/10152345833966101:5

My service dog's job

FYI

 Wherever I go, BooRadley will be there.

That means stores, restaurants, churches, homes and yes, the funeral home.

 He is my Service Dog.

 He is not there to be your entertainment, to be talked to, touched or petted. He is there to work.

 You don't need to know his job or understand it.

 Just because I may allow you to talk to and pet him does not mean that is what he's there for. (And God bless the people who ask first because otherwise it's as jarring and invasive at times as grabbing a person's blind cane or person's prosthetic!)

He loves people and I understand people are drawn to him, but he is as much a service dog as a seeing eye dog.

 Respect that.

 Now that I've said that, I want you to know that while he is trained to do a job, he is human (so to so to speak) and he may need you to back off and don't distract him.

 Let him work when I am at the funeral home.

 If I sound harsh, well, I'm trying to deal with the loss of my cousin. As an only child, my cousins mean a lot to me. I don't know what having a brother or sister feels like except maybe how I feel about my cousins.

 Boo has an enormous job ahead of him the next few days. This may be his biggest job challenge yet.

If he makes a mistake, don't say he is not doing his job at all. Or that he isn't a service dog. Maybe feel sympathy for him and add him to your prayers.

 Thank you.