Friday, April 18, 2014

About my ailments

About my ailments...

I have Fibromyalgia, Severe Fatigue, Asthma, Arthritis, & Degenerative Disc Disease, and PTSD, Severe Anxiety & Depression. That's not all, but it will do for this post.
Pain and anxiety are the same to the brain cells. I am in a lot of pain and stress. Always. 
This week has  been especially tough for several reasons.
I can't afford $700 a month for meds when I don't have $7 to my name.
Even if I was able to work (which I'm not) I wouldn't even come close to making that kind of money. 
My doctors in Kansas had just got my meds worked out so that I was able to do small daily things without needing a nap and I lost government grants for school...
which meant I lost school, my home and everything. So I end up having to move and start over trying to get help with my medicines again. I don't have help yet. 
So I don't have pain meds. So I'm being slammed with pain that previously had gradually gotten so bad I was bedridden, well here it is in a wall of force hitting me now.  
Now that I've tasted a bit of relief, the pain is all back full force.
And it's going to rain. I can feel it. It doesn't feel good. 
I hurt all over like the flu. My hands feel stiff and thick. They don't work well. They cramp. 
I can't see clearly when I first wake up. 
My legs and feet feel asleep if they get still. My legs jerk and cramp. I can't depend on them to hold me up. 
My feet and hands burn like they were scalded. 

Then there's stress, anxiety, and depression....
My cousin died. We were close. 
And there's no easy way to say this, but my some of my family just plain out acts white trash crazy. Even in public! 



So I think I have had every ailment I have triggered this week. 

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