Went to 2 doctors yesterday.
The psychiatrist gave me something to help me sleep (hopefully without nightmares).
The general doc gave me antibiotics. Costly antibiotics that God gave us the money for. (It wasn't there before we prayed, but was there after.)
Now I have a gross (metallic) taste in my mouth, forehead feels hot and I feel sleepy/tired. Yeah for antibiotics. =P He gave me 10 days supply. I hope I survive. LOL
The veggies in the garden are staring to ripen. Tomatoes, corn, beans, peppers. Lots of peppers! =)
I am having muscle weakness and burning hands/feet. I am gonna be tested for MS as soon as the gen doc office makes the appointment.
Also the last knuckles on my fingers hurt, like something pulled wrong or something. Yeah RA. =P
Side note: My little cousin has MG/LEMS https://www.mda.org/disease/lambert-eaton-myasthenic-syndrome
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Here I go again.
Infection.
I keep an infection because I have Fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia is known for all over pain, but really it's under the medical umbrella "autoimmune disease".
Fibro means I catch everything.
Everything!
And nothing ever goes away.
After the last round of antibiotics the doctor said I can't just keep taking antibiotics.
It was just my second round in the past few months, which is good for me.
But the antibiotics just tamp down the infection and I feel pretty good (not totally well, but pretty good) for a few days then it starts back.
My mouth burns like I had scalding soup,
my ear hurts,
my sinuses feel full,
my body has sores just show up (usually on my legs)
tiny blisters on my body and arms,
my kidneys hurt,
I have a UTI,
and
I feel tired and tingly.
I wish I could get enough antibiotics to end the infection completely.
Why not do that so it wont just grow back?
Wouldn't a total eradication make it harder to get sick again?!
I get that they don't want me to become immune to the antibiotics, but I say get rid of the infection entirely and I wont need more antibiotics.
Right?
Why can't I just be well?!
Infection.
I keep an infection because I have Fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia is known for all over pain, but really it's under the medical umbrella "autoimmune disease".
Fibro means I catch everything.
Everything!
And nothing ever goes away.
After the last round of antibiotics the doctor said I can't just keep taking antibiotics.
It was just my second round in the past few months, which is good for me.
But the antibiotics just tamp down the infection and I feel pretty good (not totally well, but pretty good) for a few days then it starts back.
My mouth burns like I had scalding soup,
my ear hurts,
my sinuses feel full,
my body has sores just show up (usually on my legs)
tiny blisters on my body and arms,
my kidneys hurt,
I have a UTI,
and
I feel tired and tingly.
I wish I could get enough antibiotics to end the infection completely.
Why not do that so it wont just grow back?
Wouldn't a total eradication make it harder to get sick again?!
I get that they don't want me to become immune to the antibiotics, but I say get rid of the infection entirely and I wont need more antibiotics.
Right?
Why can't I just be well?!
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
I wake up with two feelings every morning: Pain and disappointment.
Pain from my fibro & degenerative disc disease and so on and also disappointment because I woke up.
Okay, the disappointment is only the mornings I am not dreaming of my pain. Those mornings I just wake up crying in pain.
No, I'm talking about my first thoughts/feelings every morning is being disappointed that I wake up. Disappointed that I am in pain. Disappointed that I am STILL in pain. Disappointed that I have another entire day to face feeling constant pain. Some days I can push this aside as I try to get out of bed without help. Some days it lasts hours or all day.
I walk this tightrope of life over a chasm of depression and pain is just one of the things I am juggling along the way.
It's not *just* that I have pain. It's that I *STILL* have pain. That the pain that wore me down all day the day before is still there. That wore me down all week, all month, all year, the last two decades is *STILL* there.
It invades my dreams.It's in my thoughts before I am conscious. It's there before I realize who I am or where I am. It's there before I decided I must get up and go to the bathroom. It's there before I know what day of the week it is.
It is there before every movement of my day. Limiting me. Restricting me. Drawing me inward. Pulling me down.
It is my last thoughts as I drift off to sleep. Because of pain, I have to sleep a certain way.It's because of pain some nights I can't sleep. It's because of pain some nights I can't even lay down and rest.
Pain is there. Always.
Pain from my fibro & degenerative disc disease and so on and also disappointment because I woke up.
Okay, the disappointment is only the mornings I am not dreaming of my pain. Those mornings I just wake up crying in pain.
No, I'm talking about my first thoughts/feelings every morning is being disappointed that I wake up. Disappointed that I am in pain. Disappointed that I am STILL in pain. Disappointed that I have another entire day to face feeling constant pain. Some days I can push this aside as I try to get out of bed without help. Some days it lasts hours or all day.
I walk this tightrope of life over a chasm of depression and pain is just one of the things I am juggling along the way.
It's not *just* that I have pain. It's that I *STILL* have pain. That the pain that wore me down all day the day before is still there. That wore me down all week, all month, all year, the last two decades is *STILL* there.
It invades my dreams.It's in my thoughts before I am conscious. It's there before I realize who I am or where I am. It's there before I decided I must get up and go to the bathroom. It's there before I know what day of the week it is.
It is there before every movement of my day. Limiting me. Restricting me. Drawing me inward. Pulling me down.
It is my last thoughts as I drift off to sleep. Because of pain, I have to sleep a certain way.It's because of pain some nights I can't sleep. It's because of pain some nights I can't even lay down and rest.
Pain is there. Always.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)