I woke up on fire.

I woke up on fire. I didn’t want to wake up but I couldn’t catch the sleep and hide. My skin, muscles, bones everything felt like it was covered in electricity. Sore and on fire, that’s how I felt. I could tell I had slept in one position for a long time.

It was so hard to move because I was all stove up (stiff) but I had to get up and let Boo off the bed to potty. I take all my energy and get Boo safely off the bed and go to the bathroom myself.

Boo has the bed monkey (the toy that stays on the bed). I can tell he wants to keep it but it needs to go on the bed so there is always a toy on the bed for Boo to play with. I tell him that and that he has a monkey to play with already. He doesn’t care, he wants Bed Monkey. He’s sad when I take it away and put it back on the bed. I hate that but I don’t want it messed up.

I want to rest but Boo need breakfast. My fingers burn and are stiff but he needs to eat. Now I need to take my meds, meaning opening bottles and little pills and big ones and swallowing them.

Boo wants to play fetch. I can’t throw far, but I make myself hold whatever toy he brings me and throw.

Now he wants to be held. I place him on my chest and wrap an arm around him. It’s hard to breath, but I love holding him. He puts his cold nose in the crook of my elbow and goes to sleep. My arm is barely holding any weight but it’s a struggle.

I have to move my leg because after it being bent for a little while it’s asleep and hurting, this moves Boo and I can’t hold him anymore.

I hate the way I feel.